It's 10:00pm, do you know where your dishes are?

Mine are in the kitchen sink.

Why is it that once the kids go to bed, I accomplish nothing, nada, not a damn thing?

Could it be the fact that I rarely sit down during the day? Could it be that the L's get so filthy dirty that they need to change clothes several times a day and all I do is wash those darn clothes? Could it be that when the L's first met after the female one shot out of my va-jay-jay (yep she shot out - 0 to 10 in 20 minutes, but that's a whole 'nother story) they decided to never eat, play, wake or sleep at the same time? They pinky swore to each other that they would drive me to the brink of insanity and then pull me back in by pretending to like each other and then see how far they can push me once again. Could it be the fact that the littler of the L's bites the bigger L every time she sets her devilish little eyes on him?

Yeah, probably.

I wonder how many Weight Watcher Activity Points I get for doing the dishes?

Loving the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival!

Check out this giveaway!

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Good luck!

Woo hoo they are sleeping, party of... three?

Seriously Daddy and I have this little guilty pleasure in which we describe that time of the night when we know that L&L are fast asleep and we have at least 3 hours of un-interrupted-ness ahead of us. We can only usually guarantee 3 hours because neither the little bigger L or the little-er L continually sleep through the night even though they are both fully capable of the task but that a whole 'nother post.

So getting back to our guilty pleasure....

The Woo Hoo they are sleeping party! The Woo Hoo they are sleeping party usually starts with Seriously Daddy making a trip across the street to the little corner establishment for some really bad for us food and adult beverages. We sit in the dark kitchen, eat, drink and usually watch a corny movie. This little party of ours has gone on a few times a month since the little L joined our family. It has been ours and only ours. Until now.

The bigger of the little L's is on to us. He knows our secret and he won't let us forget it. Seriously, just so you are aware, this means we cannot even outsmart a THREE YEAR OLD! Yeah, we are total losers. I am pretty sure the bigger of the L's can now judge by our moods when we are planning a "WHTAS party" and how he plans to crash it.

Last night was one such event. Dinner, play time outside, bedtime snack, baths, pj's, book and bedtime and high fives for the "WHTAS'ing party." Seriously Daddy sneaks out the backdoor for the goods, I tip toe down the stairs being ever so careful to avoid the creaky spots in the dark and not even a minute later I hear "Seriously Mom, did you think I wasn't coming?" "What did Dad order for us?" This is when my head hit the counter in a big ::THUD::

We three ate, drank and watched Max and Ruby like rock stars.

Our "Woo Hoo they are sleeping party" has now become "Pity Party, party of two and Woo hoo I am not sleeping you suckers, party for one."

Godspeed Professor Randy Pausch

Carnegie Mellon University Professor Randy Pausch died this morning. Our thoughts and prayers are with his wife, children, family and friends. Although I have never met this amazing man in person, he has influenced my life more than anyone would know. Thank you for being such an amazing inspiration, Dr. Pausch.

Read more about his life here.

today's rant - cell phones and my love hate relationship...

Need to vent...

I have an absolute love/hate relationship with cell phones. I couldn't live without my phone but being that I spend the majority of my days with a 16 month old and a 3 year old, I don't use my phone very much. I will admit however, that I have a little love affair with Twitter going on. But I digress...


My darling husband however has a phone attached to his ear 24/7. I understand that because of his line of work his cell phone is an essential part of his money makin' arsonal but damn, does he have to talk on it ALL THE TIME? Why is it that our society has become so used to immediate contact that a simple question cannot wait 5 freakin' minutes for an email or God forbid, talk to someone face to face? There is nothing that drives me crazier (okay there are a lot of things that drive me crazy, hence my need for therapy) than someone walking around mindlessly chattering away on a cell phone. Don't you have a purpose in life? If not, get one and stop allowing Joe Q. Public to listen to how your boyfriend blah, blah, blah or your wife is making you blah, blah, blah.


GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY!


So not that I went off on a tangent or anything.

I've got my spine, I've got my Orange Crush...and I've got the house to myself!!!

That's right, I've got the house to myself! L&L are in Iowa visiting Grandma and Papa and Seriously Daddy is somewhere down south trying to make some more moola. I've got the NEW iPod jamming some REM, the frozen sangria is in the fridge (thanks Kate!) and Frankie and Ernie are loving the special attention. Not to worry though, I do have a huge "Mommy do" list...
-hire a painter for the back of the house (you're welcome Seriously Daddy)
-clean out Little-er L's closet (if you don't hear from me in a few days call for help)
-mow the grass (you're welcome again SD)
- sell as much crap as possible on Craigslist (anyone need baby clothes?)
-plant the front flower beds
-shampoo the area rugs
-give the smelly beasts a bath
-catch up on the mountain of laundry in the basement (can't wait)

Yeah, that's just a sample of the stuff I have to catch up on my little vacation from mommyhood.

How fair is it that this is what I call a vacation? Nobody told me about this BEFORE I had kids. Where was the class on what is would be like when you barely have time to pee, let alone do anything but keep your kids from killing themselves on a daily basis?

That could be my ticket to millions. A real life mommy class. "Welcome to the jungle baby, we've got fun and games..."

Home, home on the range...

As much as I hate where we live, I have to say that it is nice to be home again. Camping with a three year old and a one year old leaves little to be desired. We had a great time with our friends and as much as I love to camp, it certainly wasn't a vacation for me. Tick Checker, Poison Ivy Patroler, Bug Sprayer, Fire Marshall, Bedtime Warden, Life Jacket Officer are all titles I got to wear this weekend while Seriously Daddy got to fish. Nice, huh?

Yeah, that's all I am going to say about that.

We hiked Piers Gorge and watched the whitewater rafters going by. We rode the steam train in Leona (hey, you do what you gotta do to entertain the troops when they are little.) We had a lot of campfires, Pudgy Pies and S'Mores. It was a great time with great friends and my hope is that the L's grow up loving the outdoors as much as their dad and I do. What little boy wouldn't love to pee in the woods but here's hoping that his sister can deal too!

Remind me to tell the IPOD story. It deserves a post all to itself.

We're off like a cheap hookers clothes...

After a week of packing, packing and more packing, we have enough gear to survive the next apocalypse. This is just some of our stuff and Seriously Daddy wanted me to add a disclaimer...

The good beer is already packed and yes, he does know that he needs to paint the back of the house this summer.






I am not sure if I want to bring the devil child though...

Whatcha think. Scary isn't it?

In one door and out the other!

Home from one vacation just in time to do some laundry, repack and head out for our annual summer camping trip!





We took the monkeys to a little waterpark for the fourth of July holiday, promising the little bigger L that we would "do the fire booms" on our camping trip so he was more than happy to miss the holiday festivities and head out to the waterpark. The little-er L is still too young to really appreciate the 4th and besides, it's a helluva lot easier for me not to have to deal with a screaming baby and two wimpy dogs when the fireworks start. We had a 2 hour drive and for about 118 of the 120 minutes we were in the car, I heard "Are we there yet" "Is this the waterpark?" "Man, this is for sure far far away." "Mommy, tell dad to drive faster." "Is THIS the waterpark yet?" Thankfully, there was vodka on the other end. So after unloading the goods, we checked into our room. Not 15 seconds later, The little bigger L was in his suit and wondering just what was taking us so long to get ready. Little-er L was tired and was in a mood so she and I mostly just watched Seriously Daddy trying not to let little bigger L drown! It has been officially decided (or as official as I get) that little bigger L has to get into some sort of organized swimming lessons. That kid o' mine has no regard for the fact that he doesn't really know how to swim and that he could DIE if he doesn't concentrate on what he is doing. That kid needs some real skills. Watching him at the waterpark should be pure joy but I was constantly telling Seriously Daddy to "go get him" and gasping in terror as I pictured him drowning. Now, let me just say that both Seriously Daddy and I were certified Red Cross lifeguards in our previous life and are extremely comfortable in and around water but our first born is sure that he knows more than us. I am hoping that "a teacher" will set him straight. Anyway, it was a fun time even if Little-er L was up at 5:30am prying my eyes open while simultaneously saying "ni night mama." Not cute. Not cute at all.

We are heading up north to the cabin for a long weekend camping trip with friends. Fishing, rafting, hiking, grilling some vittles, campfires and all around great times ahead!

Life is a highway...

As the two readers of this little blog o' mine (hi Mom and Dad) know, I am a reality addict. And now I can even feed my addiction through the internet!

You have to check out Summer Mom Road Trip described on their site as "Take five moms, give them a Chevy Tahoe Hybrid SUV, add wireless internet access in the vehicle, a GPS system, cutting-edge cameras and video recording technology, video games, music, gasoline, hotel stays, food, mainstream media covering the road trip on the internet & television - and see what happens as these hilarious and irreverent women drive coast to cost, picking up their fellow SV Moms Group Contributors and blogging it all on the road..... Seriously, you will NOT want to miss following these bloggers as they make their way across the country, from Northern Virginia to San Francisco."

I am already addicted and the trip hasn't even started yet! Does anything sound more fun than a old school road trip that gets hooked up by today's technology? Seriously fun!

What should we be rollin' in?

So Seriously Daddy and I have had this huge thing between us since we were young and not yet sleep deprived. We disagree about vehicles. Seriously Daddy is a pretty handy guy and has no problem driving a vehicle that is less than new and has never really put much value on material things. I, on the other hand, am a total spend-a-holic, materialistic, wannabe baller and Seriously Daddy has the great difficulty of keeping me to a budget (ugh, that word makes me choke.) Basically Seriously Mama wants a new car every few years. (Yes, I am aware that Clark Howard is rolling his eyes at me right now.) I have always been a bit of a worrier and the thought of being stuck on the road with two little kids and two big dogs doesn't really appeal to me. What in the hell would I do? Not that I am a wuss or a total girly girl but damn, what a pain in the arse to figure out that dilemma. So I have always wanted to drive a newer car, one that I never have to worry about. The other problem is that I have always been a big SUV girl. Suburbans, Expeditions, Tahoes, oh my. Combine the two problems and you get one hell of an expensive vehicle, made even more expensive by the fact that gas is now $8,000,000.00 per gallon. Now after driving my Expedition for the last 3 years we are heading towards the 100,000 mile mark which is my absolute deal breaker. After a lot of convincing :wink wink: Seriously Daddy has agreed that it is time for a new family vehicle. Do we bite the bullet and buy the big SUV that we can all fit in (parents, kids, dogs, camping gear) and only be able to afford to drive it once a month or do we look for something more in the mini van genre? No offense to all of you mini van drivers out there of course, I am just seriously not ready to go there. The brat in me still wants the Suburban. So what if we only drive it around the block once a month, right? The rest of the time I'll push the Mountain Buggy I guess. God knows I need the exercise.

Free gas!

Yes, I said free gas and no, not the kind that comes from the rear of Frankie and Ernie. Wisconsin Mommy is doing a free BP gas card giveaway! How cool is that?

Oh no he dinit...

Ummm, oh yes he did.

{I knew there was a reason I started this blog. The internet is a way better place to document this act rather that a sweet little baby book.}

The little bigger L came into the kitchen with out any pants on this afternoon and after a few seconds of contemplation on my part, I realized what he did. He pooped, duked it out, floated a boat, layed a turdle in the pond, however you want to describe it, he crapped in the backyard! I quickly tried to clean him up and raced out to the backyard to clean up the deposit only to find that Ernie had already cleaned it up if you know what I mean. Fun times.

Can someone tell me how to explain to a three year old little boy that only Frankie and Ernie are allowed to poop in the backyard? Telling him that animals go outside but people go on a potty isn't jiving with Captain Chaos.

My little man also decided that he didn't want my input at bedtime. He fell dead asleep (nekkid as a jay bird) on the playroom floor at 7:00pm tonight!