Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Spin-en the bottle. Just not the baby kind.

Note to self. Do not ever take a 3 year old and a 19 month old to the toy store again alone, ever. Never ever again. And if you are stupid enough to do that, make sure there is a full bottle of therapy waiting in the special cabinet when you get home. Because you are really going to need it. Seriously.

The ever fabulous Sprite's Keeper picked Favoritism for this weeks spin. Re-posting favorite posts, as if! I love her for letting me re-post an old post and somehow I don't feel like shredding any evidence of NaBloPoMo tonight.

Who doesn't love a toddler who talks like a drunken sailor? Someday I will pay for this but I still crack up every time I hear one of my kids swear. Bad mom = me. I know it but I still live to hear them curse.

I am such a child.

So here it is. Another piece of evidence that I won't be winning any mother of the year awards...

Little-er L is sleeping, Little Bigger L and I were talking about what we wanted to do this week. It was what I thought to be a sweet little down time talk. We were having a moment. You know those moments, the ones that should be written down in a baby book unless you are me who never bothered to do a baby book for either child because I suck as a mother. Someday they'll get over it in therapy. I'm not worried. So I asked the three year old little twerp if he would like to take a trip to the zoo this week. He grabbed my cheeks in what I thought would be a "oh mom, I love you" moment when instead he said to me, the woman whom gave him life, the woman who nourishes his mind and body, the woman who wipes his butt after he poops (outside or in), the woman who makes sure he doesn't kill himself on a daily basis, he said to me...

"No, I don't want to go to the zoo because you are an asshole."

Do I gasp for air, shocked that my spawn could do such a thing?


I crack up laughing and spit my iced coffee out all over him. And decided to do whatever he wanted for the rest of the day because even though he has gotten his fathers looks and demeanor, the cursing? That's all me, baby. And damn I am proud.

Like the title says, Tender moments? Not so much. Methinks that certain three year old little ears have been listening to Seriously Mama talk to Seriously Daddy when Seriously Daddy makes Seriously Mama very mad.

Yeah, they are so going to need therapy some day.

Here's a little Juliana Hatfield Three's Spin The Bottle for you. One of my favorites...


gigi dungo said...

that's hysterical!! sounds a lot like my darling "twerp" who hears too much "Entourage" lingo on HBO when daddy is watching TV!!!

Audrey said...

My five year old is so obsessed with the word "anus" that I would currently be thrilled to hear him say "asshole" instead.

I laughed so hard at this story that my jiggling belly fat woke up the baby sleeping on me.

Black Hockey Jesus said...

Yeah I'm always laughing at Lucy cursing. It's just so funny. I can't do the right thing.

Thanks for the light, funny story.

A lot of people must have thought I meant: give me a link to the darkest, most depressing thing you've ever written. Damn.

Sprite's Keeper said...

So funny! I always laugh when Sprite breaks the toddler rules too. Or when she openly defies me and I openly admire her defiance. I am so bad at that.
Great post and you got a BHJ comment! Those are like gold!
You're linked!

Seriously Mama said...

SK - BHJ was forced to post a comment. It wasn't voluntary! ;-)

Leslie said...

Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog! I will be back to visit you often because I can clearly see that you are my kind 'o woman! My husband would COMPLETELY. FREAK. OUT. if our oldest ever cursed and I would get for sure get the major stink-eye from him because I am the potty mouth in the family. I keep telling him that's what 8 years in the military will do to a lady but he hasn't bought it yet. Anyway, your post made me laugh - and your kidlets are cute enough to eat - but I wouldn't of course :)

small town city girl said...

Love the words they pick up on. Mine is the same way. You drop the F-bomb once and they remember FOREVER!

As for Twilight...Definitely read First! Let me know what you think. I'm totally obsessed!